Shepherd’s Pie

1kg mince
1 onion
2 cloves of garlic
mushrooms
2 smallish carrots
Worcestershire sauce
tomato sauce
1 cup beef stock
3 bay leaves
50ml water with cornflower disolved
1kg spuds
butter & milk for mash
200g grated cheese

Fry onion, garlic & mushrooms in a little butter or olive oil. Fry until onion is soft and clear.
Add mince, fry till brown.
Add carrot & wostershire sauce & 1 cup beef stock.
Stir through & simmer before adding a small amount of cornflower mixed with water to the meat. Take off the heat and stir through as adding.
Add tomato sauce, salt, pepper & more wostershire sauce to taste.
Cook and mash spuds as per usual (milk, butter & salt to taste)
Simmer to reduce before putting in a big pot, covering with mashed spud & a layer of cheese and cooking in the oven for 20mins.

Brown cheese under the grill. Serve with green veggies.

I don’t usually put salt in mash, but the meat was a little sweet, rather than salty.

the long and the short

Wow.  What a big couple of weeks.  It must have been about that long since I’ve posted.  I don’t know why, and I don’t really have a reason.  I guess laziness, perhaps tiredness, maybe just not feeling it.  Not feeling like sharing.

Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been up and down a bit.  I think the training has caught up.  I feel tired, constantly tired.  Like my body just needs a rest, like I need some time to unwind.  I always feel as though I could just close my eyes and go to sleep.  I wish that that would make it all go away.  I can feel it more in my demeanour than my muscles.  A frustration settles over everything and I’m less able to deal with shit.  Like if the smallest thing goes wrong, or doesn’t go the way I plan, intend or want it’s all over and I get the shits.  Not that I react, verbally or physically, but in my head it’s like everything’s about to come crashing down.  I take the hump and go quiet, or resentful.  I guess that really reflects exactly how I feel about some stuff where I’m living at the moment.  The patient like mentality is really getting me down.  At times I feel like a maid.

I’m not sure if it’s the isolation that I feel at times.  That I’m feeling a bit at the moment.  At times I long for a NI winter’s day with nothing on – a day when you can sit inside all day and eat, or sit by the fire and chill out with your friends.  I guess that is the isolation that I’m feeling coming out – right there, in that statement.  While I’m in with those I know, I’m not ‘in’, which at times makes me feel out.  I’m not right in the middle of the group, not that I need to be, but I feel at times as though I do not belong.  At times I feel unwelcome, and unwanted.  I guess it’s good that there are some holidays coming up – that I’ve some time to myself.  That’s what I’m looking forward to most about tomorrow night – coming home to an empty house.

I’ve really backed off the training this week – this twice a day thing has really taken it out of me.  So I do plan to do an easier week this week, although tomorrow will be (maybe) a run, then swim, then gym in the evening – I’m just not sure.  It honestly feels as though I need the rest at the moment.  I guess it probably is bordering on burnout – I thoroughly spanked myself over the last few weeks, burning 4500, 5000 and 3800 cal per week for the last 3.  I guess that the way to look at it was that this is my week off – but I fail to do that.

I know that my diet hasn’t been spot on, that I’ve wavered too much.  I do find it difficult being in a household where I don’t have control over what food gets cooked.  The way I’ve dealt with that in the past (the first few weeks that I was into it) was to really ‘concentrate’ during the day in lieu of being more lax at night, although I don’t know what’s happened – I’ve slipped.  I think it’s getting out of the working routine that’s put the breaks on my diet and food consumption.  I’m planning to be spot on with it while I’ve the house to myself – I guess I’ve just got to find a way to implement that to the family situation.  I do find it hard when, when asked what I want for dinner, I give the option of ‘chicken & vegies’ or ’steak & vegies’ and then get told that I’m not very imaginative.  I don’t know why that annoys me so much.  I know that it’s boring; but I also know that it’s good for me.

I’ve also been having doubts about the results that I’m seeing.  I can, or could, see changes in my face – it’s getting leaner, but the rest of my body is taking it’s sweet time in catching up.  I know that this happens to me -  that I lose it from my face, shoulders, legs and arms first.  It’s ALWAYS something that gets me.  And I believe that it’s something that really stops me from achieving my goals.  What if I just held out – if I hold out another 5 weeks, worrying only about the processes, not the results – I wonder how much difference actually would be made.  I’m also trying not to weigh – but I had to the other night for my application form – nothing.  Nil.  Nada.  Zilch.  Zero.  That’s right – flogging my guts out for 3 weeks and there was no actual change in the scale.  Yes, I may have put on muscle, and my muscles may be holding onto water – but I’ve fucking lost nothing.  I can not believe that, and it is so disheartening.  I just don’t know what to do about this.  I know stopping is not the answer; but I’m not overly sure what I’d be saying if I was my client.

Actually, I do know.  Take a body fat test I’d be saying.  I guess I should do that.  One day when I’m home alone.  Will swim tomorrow – if I can find my adidas togs, but I feel as though they’ve gone missing.  In the car maybe.  For now I need to sleep to get this emotional crap out of my system.

a bit weird with my food

I’ve learnt, in the last couple of days, that my eating, diet and food preferences are, in fact, a bit weird.

I like to drink milk with pizza.  I also like milk right after a good feed of bacon & eggs.  Weird, I know.

I actually like cottage cheese.  Better when with carrot, celery or cucumber sticks; but I actually like the white, salty, lumpy, sometimes watery stuff called cottage cheese.  I like the taste.  I like that it is one of the best sources of protein available (and is also one of the lowest in fat).  I don’t like the low fat version though – too watery.  But the real cc is like 4% fat anyway – there’s no need to go any lower than that when you’re eating 100g per day.

I like peanut butter on salad sandwiches (oh how I long for a sanga on white bread) or wraps.  Everybody thinks I’m weird for it,  but it’s awesome!  I highly recommend it to everyone I know, whether they like pb, or salad for that matter, or not.  It adds a satay kinda flavour to the sanga, without being too strong.  Was compelled to try it by my little cousin a few years ago and will readily admit to being skeptical at first but after one bite I was converted.  And have been eating it ever since.

I like grapes, but not sultanas.  I can not see, at all, how these two foods are related.  Even remotely.  Sultanas have the capacity to make me spew.  They are one of the very few foods that I do not eat, and will not try.  Except in raisin bread, of course.

I also hate, and will not eat dates, in anything or in any form.

I’m not much of a fan of dried figs either.

I like guava.  More for the texture than the actual taste.  I think they taste a little bit like nothing, but the texture is just so exquisitely different – seedy, fleshy, soft and firm all at once.

I like weird things in my salad.  Grapes for example.  Or green beans.  I just like to try different combinations; which is why I make great salads.

I hate capsicum; or peppers as I came to know them in NI.  But quite like creamy roasted pepper soup.

Split shift again. 15 Hours Down

Yet another split shift.  Feel more used & abused than I really want, although how can one tell the difference between being a good person, kind hearted & doing the right thing and being just plain walked all over?  Sometimes I feel as though I get stuck in the middle of that great big abandon.  I won’t see them stuck, but I feel as though I really can’t say no.  I’m too close.  I live to close.  I’m too nice.

 

To be fair GI Joe is very good to me at times, like letting me off work early to play golf, then giving me the hours, saying that I make it up anyway.  Which I do.  Simone the big man would never have considered that to be fair but GI Joe knows I put in.  Knows I earn what I get.  Loads of people have said to me that the place will fall apart when I’m gone.  K-C reckons she’s leaving.  No motivation to come she says.  Is that me, or the program?!  Hmmm.

 

I was surprisingly busy at work today.  Not so busy, but every time I was just getting into something someone was lookin me for something or other, just generally being high maintenance.  Me being tempermental…  Ma’s mate phoned me twice, once to say that Big Pelier could come to the spin-a-thon (bloody good thing too or I would have had to call and shout at him).  So I mentioned that one of us would be in contact with him.  Then she called again to tell me that I shouldn’t phone him, that he was busy at work & he said to her not to phone him at work.  Bloody hell – I can imagine why – no doubt he doesn’t want her rabbitting on at him while he’s doing his copper thing.  I briefly wondered if she phoned him to ask if she could take a crap.  Probably.  GI Joe and I laughed about that, she’s a nutter – harmless but an absolute numpty head.

  

Today was the beginning of the end of the spin-a-thon challenge, or Saturday from hell as I’ve begun referring to it as.  My god, I can not believe what I’ve signed up for.  So, it’s currently all systems go on the eating front.  7000cal in a day.  Shite.  Actually, that might be a great weight management plan…do one of them a month & bada-bing bada-boom, all of a sudden you’re maintaining the athlete look no worries.  Insane thought.  Definitely saner people locked up…

 

 

The new Polar is awesome.  FT60 training computer it’s officially known as.  I’ll just say it’s class.  It is clear, does everything one could ever want and looks smashing.  And at £184.50 it costs more than most can afford, or will pay, making it kinda exclusive.  I love my Polar.  I’ll be sad to get rid of the orange one, but I kinda need the 50 quid.

 

Training today was light.  Just a quick spin to empty the glycogen out of my legs before I load up again for Saturday.  After the spin I did K-C’s new weights program, somewhat to see what it was like, somewhat out of boredom & somewhat to tell her that I can do it, to push her further.  Was a bit easy, I must say.  Although I think a lot of it was cause of the fatigue from spin, that I probably didn’t push as hard as I could have.  That I just set out to do what she did…only a little more weight.  GI Joe stretched the hell out of my hammies & calves before I spun.  Was surprised by the flexibility still in them, even though they felt as tight as hell.  Also getting pretty happy with the development in my legs, some nice shape coming through above my knees.  Although still not as good at K-Cs.  I love her legs.  Could look at them all night long, all day & for, well, just such great definition in her quads - absolutely class!

 

SPIN (Maximise performance & improve fitness)

1:00:27

554 cal (23% fat)

AHR: 153

MHR: 183

Zones: H: 25:04; M: 22:52; L: 12:30

 

WEIGHTS (fat burn & improve fitness)

00:23:34

158 cal (36% fat)

AHR: 131

MHR: 185

Zones: H: 00:41; M: 07:49; L: 13:59

After I’d trained & rested for an hour I was back at work for shift 2/2 today.  K-C was in looking through her program – we had some great craic.  I love working with her…cause I can tell her what I think & she takes it.  Cause I don’t have to baby her.  I just like hanging out with her.  In so deep.  Feck!

Just went off to get some food before.  Loads of protein, stuff for sangas – cooked chicken, turkey, avoes etc.  Steak, broccoli & loads of fruit.  Also got some of my favourite greek yoghurt and some of the wonderfully delicious and zingy Intense burn energy drink – 2 for £1.50 woot.  Bring on Saturday of hell. 

 

 

 

Spin-a-thon…Bloody Hell.

So, I’m back.  After quite a significant absence.  Not my fault at all…bloody internet.  Now I’m reconnected with the world. 

So, of late…things go like this.  Training was well back on track – maintaining quite easily at 73 – 74ish.  Not really eating that well – been kinda up and down, mainly through inconsistent timing, poor choices and lots of booze.

Training wise, not so bad.  Was getting full into the cardio, working it hard & suffering a whole lot.  I’d swapped to another formula.  Yet another formula.  It was all going well then I got sick.  It was after Belfast’s Oktoberfest.  Was such a great, crazy, unintentional night out, but then the sickness hit.  Was well out of action, dosed with the flu for about 2 weeks. 

Stupidly I’ve signed on for a bloody spin-a-thon for the fecking Children in Need.  Everyone in the gym, well everyone who’s signed on, is doing 3 hour stints.  GI Joe & I are doing 2 hours on, 1 hour off for the whole 18 hours.  That’s 12 hours on a bike.  Nearly a whole flight from London – Hong Kong.  Bloody hell.  Been doing lots of training for it.  Worked up to 2 hours, which, when company is good is pretty easy.  Very doable.  Last Thursday, the 30th did 2 hours on, 1 off, 2 on.  Bit of a zombie-esque state at the end of it, and my head was away at work.  No wonder, burnt approximately 2200 cal that day – a whole day worth of food. 

That in itself concerns me a bit cause of the amount that I’m going to do in 12 hours.  The 2nd lot burnt more, definitely more – was harder on the body I guess, pushed a bit more cause K-C was there, motivation!  By the end of the 12 hours no doubt I’ll be working at a lower rate, but cause of the duration & intensity I’ll probably be burning more.  Probably about 7000cal for the day, maybe more.  That’s like a weeks worth of calories.  How the hell am I going to put all that in.  K-C is becoming a waitress for the day.  I’m gonna have to give her millions to cover my food/drink bill that day.

Reassment 1.0 – Mountain of Lard

So, the week has come.  Time to look back and assess my progress so far – assess my dedication, commitment, persistence & effort in the pursuit of perfection.

 

My weight’s gone up.  I feel shit about it.  Feel like I’ve completely failed in what I’ve done.  The hard work that I’ve been putting in over the last few days has gone to waste.  Not happy at all.  I feel shit, more about myself and letting myself down.  I know that I’m putting in the effort with training – I train daily.  Vary the routine.  Progressively overload.  Put 100% into each and every session.  Why can’t I control the diet better.  Obviously the weight has gone up – maybe it’s not all bad.  I’ve been heavy on weights this week – and have had more carbs to go along with that.  Also I feel that I’m getting fitter – maybe my muscles are holding onto more water.  But I don’t think that they’re really the causes.  Just the sugar coated version of me fucking up this week.  Definitely have let slip a little with the diet – becoming too relaxed, too complacent, too happy with my progress so far.

 

Things have fallen apart over the last couple of days.  The wheels really have fallen off the cart.  I’m not doing the right things with my diet – it’s gone to pot.  Training has been good, but I’m going backwards, partially due to the Friday blow out; but also cause I’ve been inconsistent in eating the right foods. 

 

Fuck ups:

1. Too much shit

2. Inconsistency with supplements

3. Not enough sleep

4. Snacking on the wrong stuff – letting bad snacks creep in.

5. Lunches – not eating salads enough

6. Not consistent with timing of foods

 

Fixes:

1. Stop eating crap – simple

2. Take supplements consistently – take them every day, consistently

3. Go to bed earlier – sleep better

4. Concentrate on healthy snacks – control what I’m putting into fat head

5. Preparation of lunches, snacks before work – have it all sitting there – ready to go.

6. Take and eat foods that I can manage between clients – quick but good snack foods

 

Top Gear

Sad. Depressed. All alone. That’s me. Still hurt by the ex lying to me – took it out on the treadmill and felt great after a banging workout.

0945 – Thermobol, Detox
1000 – Training – 15 x 35:25 Run intervals – 12.0kph, 2% (6), 3% (9). 3 x 10 DB Bench (16s), VT (37.5) DB Lat Raise (5s), Cable Straight arm pulldown (12.5), Leg Press (70, 80, 70). 15 mins bike. Stretch – Hip flexors, glutes, hamstrings, calves, quads (by GI Joe). 1 lit water
11:30 – Thermobol, Promax Diet shake on 250ml Water
12:00 – Hot tub – stretch whole body + some hot/cold shower stuff. 1 lit water
12:40 – I’m knackered!
1530 – Oats, 2 scoops natural yoghurt, 1 plum, 1/2 nectarine. Coffee.
1600 – Coffee. 4 x 2 finger kit kat
1730 – 2 small packets of crisps
1830 – Golf – walked 11 holes – 2 hours. Approx 800cal.
2130 – Small packet of crisps, 150ml skim milk.
2200 – Grilled chicken & green veg, 1/8 avocado, 3 tsp balsamic dressing.

Cracking workout. Really pleased with my run intervals. Feel a lot stronger now running at 12. I think I will max out the speed there for a bit, work on volume – longer intervals and more of them. Sweat was pouring out of me today. After my run I was sitting on the end of a bench, composing myself (“come on, you’ve got to lift this weight”) & a puddle accumulated under where I was hanging my head. Was fair roasting in the gym this morning though. Worked hard, pushed through. Can definitely do more weight on a lot of the exercises I feel. Grip strength is the main issue with VT I think; but my shoulder is giving a little curry at the moment. Feels uncomfortable when I’m at full abduction, elbow just about above my head. Leg press I felt my lower back form giving a little at 80, which is why I dropped the weight for the last set – form over load.

Went out for a bit more of FLOG. I went round the back 9 in 41 shots, which got me 25 points. Absolutely astounding considering the crap I’ve been producing on the last couple of occasions. I did really well…focused on shots, concentrated. Putting was much better. I’ve no idea what the fuck is going on. It pisses me off that I can’t be as good as I want to be. Fucking shit! Why am I swearing so much?

Bit of a headache. Should probably come up with some meat & veg for dinner. I’ve some chicken thawed – just about getting the motivation up to cook it. After Top Gear. Right after Top Gear.

Things that have made me laugh this week:
1. Fies (feesh). Irish dancing competition. Hmmm.
2. NU’s Ireland jumper. Worn to Carnalea. I’d forgotten if I’d given it back to Mrs U. This was mentioned in the gym; to which she replied “We have it at home. I’ve washed it and all”. For a couple of moments there was sheer terror – I didn’t undress in the carpark did I? Finally remembered I wore my pink shirt home – phew. Terror over.
3. Radio Quiz. Q. “What’s the capital of Hungary?”. A. “Germany”. Enough said.
4. African children. HF kindly offered that I should give my curry stained clothes to SW to have washed. “She’s washing everyone’s clothes”. “Why”. “She’s African children”. “What; to wash her clothes?”.

Train relentlessly – never quit, never cheat and never give up.

Tuna Melt

0915 – Thermobol, Detox & Green Tea
0945 – Training. 10 mins bike, warm up. Chest (heavy) – DBBP (10, 8, 8 @ 18). DBCF (3 x 10 @ 7). Incline DBBP (10 @ 8, 8, 9). DB MB Plyo Chest Throw (3 x 12 @ 5). DB INC Chest Flye (low angle) 2 x 10 @ 5. DBSP 1 x 10 @ 7. 30 mins treadmill, walk.
1130 – Tuna, cottage cheese, sweet corn & 25g cheese on 2 slices Granary Bread – toasted. 10 g cheese.
1210 – 1 nectarine, cup coffee
1530 – Thermobol + Coffee
1615 – Cottage Cheese, greek yoghurt, raspberries + 1 small apple
1900 – salad with tuna
2000 – Tomato & roasted red pepper soup + 1 small white roll + 1 tsp butter
2400 – 1 nectarine, handful pistachios

Feels like I’ve hurt the distal medial portion of my left pec. A bit sore, stabbing pain rather than a twinge. Back & hamstrings are very tight…feels so good. Especially through my back. The tuna melt for brekkie was good. Quite ’strong’ in flavour – surprise surprise – but was quick (especially now I’ve the mix made up), packed with protein, some carbs for muscle recovery & different. Oats tomorrow I think. Last night I wanted chicos, and had planned to have a couple, but realised after drinking some water that I didn’t actually want some. I think the tuna, cottage cheese & corn mix would be perfect with grated carrott on ryvita. Hmmm. Going to try some cottage cheese with some chopped raspberries bunged in. We’ll see how it goes.

Wrong timing…

Fucking shit! Woke up this morning, exactly as I’d planned – pumped to get into my first 2 k run in a week, but all plans were shattered again – Mr Big is still here. Fuck. I could still go down and do it I guess, but it’s not worth the risk – I can’t get caught working out in the gym alone, even though GI Joe has given me his permission. I can wait till 6.10 at the latest, if they’re not gone I’ve got to shower up here then get to work. Fuck! Fucking twice now that my plan has been shot to hell, in the space of 12 hours. What do I need to do? 6.00 – Think I’m just going to call it a non-opportunity & shower up here…starting to work out at 6 is getting tight…I’ll do a couple of sets of push ups, squats & crunches the stretch for my workout instead. Not the same as a kick arse 2k but it’ll have to do for this morning.

If I can’t workout, I’ll shift it to this afternoon – before golf, or after. Although I’m not sure there will be golf this afternoon with the absolute lashing that’s been dished out here. The rain is rediculous…I could nearly sail away on a boat if this continues.

Weight: 75.1kg (after breakfast, no shoes)
0515 – Detox & Thermobol
0630 – Oats with 2 spoons greek yoghurt & 1/2 Mango. Green Tea
0900 – 120g carrot sticks, 75g cottage cheese, 1 banana & Green Tea
1030 – cup of coffee
1145 – Salad with tuna & 1/4 avocado
1400 – Thermobol, Green tea, small apple
1540 – Training - Olympic challenge, 400m top-xt, lvl 3 – 50 sec. Run 2k (12.05min), Bike – 10 mins level 4. Back – D Handle Supine Row (3 x 5), VT – 8, 8, 15 @ 35, Standing cable row (triangle, 1 foot), 3 x 12 (22.5), Rotator cuff work 1 x 10 each way, both shoulders @ 2.5, some kneeling + stand on ball.
2100 – Thermobol, 100g cold grilled chicken, 75g lean pork. 100ml skim milk.
2130 – 150g grilled cod, veg – broccoli, beans, snow peas, sweet corn, carrot – 2.5 portions maybe.

Worked 0700 – 1530 then trained. Was pretty happy with my run today. Initially, while I was doing it I was ‘oh fuck, I’m fucked, can’t believe I can’t do this‘, but then realised that I ran 1.6k at 10.3, 1% which I don’t think I’ve done before, well stoked with my time considering I walked 50m to get up to speed then had a 50m break (totally needed as totally fucked). Not sure if I cained my back, but worked hard all the same. Was very aware of the golf day I have tomorrow – didn’t want to push too hard, but still felt I gave it 100% on all the exercises. Something tasted funny about the cottage cheese/carrot combination today – think it was the carrots as they’re getting on a bit, but not 100%. Plan to have fish tonight – looking forward to fish & veg actually. No butter on it though! Will buy a lemon when I’m out today & bake it with that in it. Mmm…fish!

So craving carbs though!! Oh my god I’m craving carbs. Totally looking forward to having some fish – I’m also warming a lean pork loin chop that needs eating…more in an effort to stop woofing down everything in sight. I know there are cherry ripes in the cupboard, don’t want to eat them really though…I don’t think. Perhaps some jols?! Fucking carbs. Fucking body. Fucking head. Gnawing on some cold grilled chicken. Maybe I’m just hungry.

This afternoon I feel low, flat, tired – a bit down maybe. But not down at all. I am happy with things at the moment – I think it might be the diet. A bit of carb crash, but then I guess that I’ve had enough fruit & veg over the last couple of days that that shouldn’t happen. I need some Milo!

Persist with the difficult, push the boundaries, outdo expectations, improve performance!

Fat Chook

Absolutely shattered today. Woke early – when I’d planned to; but wasn’t ready to get up…far from it. Feeling quite tired now – but that’s well to be expected.

I had planned to train after work, before I got there – at work though I was wrecked. So much to do – all this paperwork is getting to me…it’s killing me; but at the same time I’m enjoying it! I’m enjoying work so much more – I think it’s the responsibility thing.

Went up to chat to the girls after golf. I slumped in the sofa near Ms G…laid my head down and could have slept. Good craic though – it was a bit of a pick me up. When they were on their way out, Ma & Ms G swung by for a chat. It helped. Wish I could play with them; unfortunately work is so prohibitive!

Back to the task at hand – I somewhat decided that I wasn’t going to train after work – a couple of reasons…tiredness, shoulder’s a bit niggly. When the time came I just did it.

4 rounds: 250m row, 15 MB Thrusters (5kg). Go again on the minute.

Short again; but the biggest thing for me is that I did something when everything in me said no. Although it wasn’t the same as what I’d normally do, it felt good to do something.

On another note; one way to reduce fat reduction: how to stop eating chicken skin. Buy a preroasted chicken thigh; refridgerate. When you peel the skin back there’s this opaque looking grossness covering the meat – it’s filthy! Although I was completely grossed out at the time, now thinking about woolfing a warm, moist, tender chicken thigh, I just think mmmmm. Yoghurt instead.

Peace out!

Consistency. Intensity. Persistance. Dedication.