rut diving

I’m officially in a rut, golf wise.  I didn’t think that things could actually get much worse than they have been over the last week or so, but again my expectations have been exceeded.  Although this time not in a positive way.  Today was awful.  There are no other words to describe the sheer atrocity that was golf today.  Train wreck.

The back nine wasn’t so bad, and neither, I guess was the front 4 holes, that we played after starting on the 5th.  The 5th to the 10th was awful.  Just awful.  I really felt that even though I wasn’t hitting the ball all that well, and that I was just mishitting a lot of short chips, in terms of distance, that a lot of the cookie crumbs just didn’t fall with me.  A few putts hit the hole then passed it, most probably should have dropped.  I drove to the middle of the fairway on the 2nd, aiming that way and it kicked left at about a 45deg angle down to behind the trees, where I normally come from.  I chose the right club, Gap as it was shorter than normal, and hit it well and right to where I wanted it to go, and it went off the back.  I hit my P from the tee on the 7th, and it wound up about 35 m over the back.  When do I ever fucking hit the P 125m??  Just nothing worked today.  Driver was going ok, better towards the back 9.  Putting, although not all that great, was better.  32 but that isn’t reflective as I putted in twice from off the green.  I seemed to find that a lot easier than controlling my short chips today.

I just don’t know where to start in fixing it.  Perhaps it’s time for some lessons.  It was also really slow today – not as slow as NI; but pretty bloody slow for a par 64 course.  The slowness definitely reflected in my AHR & Cal for the session

3:33:33 (conveniently enough)

743 cal, 53%

AHR: 103

MHR: 142

The gym after wasn’t so bad.  I actually felt as though it was a good time to run.  Running didn’t hurt my shins at all, even though the medial side of my left calf was a little tight.  There was absolutely no pain down the shins at all.  I’m trying to run, more on my toes, rather than having my heel go down first on footstrike.  I’m striking with the ball of my foot and just in front of my hip.  I guess that by using this form I’m trying to eliminate the primary concern for me, and shin splints – impact through the heel.  I haven’t been running for a few days, so the rest may have something to do with it; but I think the altered running form, regular icing (almost nightly) and stretching (not nightly, but getting there) are helping.  I wore SKINS Powersocks to bed the other night.  They weren’t uncomfortable at all with the exception of a little bit of tenderness in the morning when I woke – from the firm upper cuff.  Today I thought that my legs weren’t as fatigued when just walking, before golf.

Run Intervals – endurance

walk 2 mins

run 5 mins @ 9.2, walk 1 min x 4

10 mins cycle – random program (climb) – level 5 to finish

37:40

505 cal, 15%

AHR: 170

MHR: 189

I surprised myself a bit with the run today.  I don’t know why I did longer intervals, it just felt like the right thing to do at the time.  I did the first couple fairly easily, but the second two of the 5 min runs were tough, but I did them.  I honestly surprised myself with how well I run them, I felt comfortable all the way, not like I was overly stressed – although my heart rate certainly was higher on the last two of the four that I ran.  It didn’t really get above 186 though which is good.

I don’t know if I’m seeing results or not.  Some days I am, some days I’m not.  I’m back at the 5 x 5 tomorrow morning, squatting might be hard, but it’s only 35.  That’s what I’m up to now.  I can’t wait to do overhead press again as I think, when I get to the top and hold briefly, I look like I’ve lost weight in that position, although my eyes could be fooling me.  The Aunt seems to think that I’ve lost more weight, when questioned about my legs due to the work shorts dilemma.  I hate trying to lose weight, but I’m finally feeling as though I might be making a little bit of progress.  Mostly down to food choices I think – eating right and making sensible decisions, with my head not my mouth.  But then again, wtf do I know?!  Socks on again tonight, we’ll see how the morning goes.

07/12

The patient is in Melbourne, and I’m so much happier.  Is this a strange coincidence or is it somehow connected.  The more I think about it, the more I think it’s connected.  I’m not sure where the problem is, but I definitely think the two are connected.  I guess it’s just a shift in attitude when he’s about.  I feel like I’m in the way when he’s here, and when he’s not, well my whole attitude shifts.

I guess it’s partly that I feel that the patient is always negative around me, and around me doing anything that’s good.  The near hole in one from Friday, all he could say was “sure you did, it took you six shots to get it there”.  It’s a real knocking attitude; and it’s applied to everything.  Condescending maybe.  I don’t know, but it makes me feel negative too.  I don’t like it and am becoming more and more convinced that that’s the issue with me being here.

Trained the 5 x 5A again before work this morning.  I feel as though it’s going well, and certainly being a shorter program makes it easier to get here and get it done.  It only took about 25mins this morning which is really short, but I still felt as though I’m working hard. 

5 x 5 A

Squat @ 30

Bench @ 30

Inverted Row – 10, 8, 8

Push ups – 12, 8, 8

Reverse Crunch – 3 x 12

5 mins bike

 

30:46

257 cal, 33%

AHR: 136

MHR: 163

 Felt stronger today, weight wise.  The squats weren’t as painful as what they were toward the end of last week; although I’m really only up to the end of the first week now.  The increase in squat weight was pretty easy to cope with, and the Bench hardly feels as though it’s working; although I’m pretty sure I’m going to miss the bench weight before I do the squat weight.  I put my size 12 shorts on today, and definitel feel as though they’re as tight, if not tighter then when I first started.  It’s not cool.  I also put on my golf shorts on a regular basis (obviously) and they really don’t show much improvement either…and they’re button up, so that’s where the improvement should be showing.  Thinking I’m going to have to ask the Aunt if I’m still fat tonight.

recovery week

This is my recovery week. I’m struggling with it. Everyday I want to train, which is a very good thing, but training to me means going hard. Everyday I need to remind myself that it’s a recovery week and that I’m ‘not’ to go hard.

Missed work today. Read the rota wrong. Pure and simple mistake; that’s all it was. Got up and headed to the range, to find out that it was closed so I headed out to Innes Park for a round. The round wasn’t very good, to say the least. On my return to the house I found out that they’d called. I was supposed to be at work at half 8. I was sure that it was half 12; and I got home in enough time to get to work for half 12, but they didn’t need me. Swapped for some hours this morning instead.

Went to the beach this afternoon for some walk run stuff. Walked 400m then run 100, walk 50 to the end of it. Running in the softer sand made things really hard. I started to feel my calves getting tighter than they normally feel so pulled up, but cardio wise I was getting a huge workout by the end of the 100m in the soft sand.

This afternoon I went to the beach for a bit of a run/walk style thing and then some range work. Work on my short game. I was getting better by the end of it – I took 5 balls and hit my 60 from about 40m, the aim to get all 5 on the green before I could go home. It took four tries to get it done; but by the end I felt as though I was hitting the ball a lot better which is something, perhaps the thing, that I felt was missing this morning. I think, technique wise this morning the main issues were that I wasn’t watching the ball well enough and that I was letting my right leg dip as I turned through the backswing. I definitely noticed an improvement in the way I hit it when I focused on tightening up my right knee when I was moving through the backswing. I think that this kept my head steadier, and as such I watched the ball a lot better. A cue I focused on this afternoon was to make sure I could see the ball right through to impact. I felt a big difference, psychologically when I got to the top of the backswing and could see the ball as my left shoulder seemed to slip under my chin. It was something I started to look for in the when I was towards the end of hitting my 60. Was actually pretty happy with how the longer pitches went.

I also worked on controlling the length of carry when chipping over about 10m with my 60. I would pick a spot on the green and aim to carry the ball to there, with the intention of getting run after that. I think, once I’ve more control over how far I can carry the ball – i.e. can carry it to a certain point on the green then life in terms of chipping will become a lot easier. That makes it more about reading the speed of the greens rather than trying to get backspin to stop the ball near the flag. I think backspin, for me, will be more effective when I’m using a fuller 60 shot from about 30 – 40m. I’m thinking I’ll head down there again tomorrow for some more work.

insomnia

Golf today.  Last night was horrendus – 3.30am I was still wide awake.  I’d shifted posts, from my bed to the couch in order to create a mind numbing effect that I hoped would put me to sleep.  No such luck.  I finally drifted off to sleep at about 5am; then woke with a start, in a panic at 6.20 to my alarm.

In the back of my mind I doubted the saneness of presenting myself for golf running on about an hours sleep.  I questioned my ability to concentrate for 18 holes, particularly while carrying my clubs.  They get heavy when it’s hot.  Surprisingly it was all good.  I honestly questioned my ability to keep focus through 3 hours, or more of golf, when I was tired; or suspected that I was going to be tired.  I wasn’t tired at all really.  My average heart rate was up for the session, probably a little to do with fatigue, but other than that I thought my concentration was fine.  I was hitting my gap and 60 well, but Mr 5 Iron isn’t working so well at the moment.  May head to the driving range this afternoon to do some work on that.  Also some chipping and putting – it can always do with work.  I putted quite well today – 35 putts for the 18 so that was good.  I had 4 x 1 putts and a couple of 3s, but was happy enough.  I kissed the hole quite a bit, and nothing really wanted to drop, but I was giving it a chance at least.  There were really only two holes that I lost concentration with my putting – think the rest just came down to whether the 2nd putt dropped or not.

End of the day I came in with 77 off the stick, which was +13 for the 18 holes.  I was shocked when I realised that I’d come through the back 9 only 3 over, but that included a nice birdie on the 18th (not at the end of the day due to the shotgun start) from at 5 – 6m putt.  Nice.

3:45

1484 c, 47%

AHR: 116

MHR: 153

Something, somewhere deep down in me switched today.  It was like I had my eyes opened, or considered another possibility, analysed performance differently and suddenly was aware of this massive factor that I’ve been happily omitting from all golf analysis.  Fitness. I’m certainly not the fittest person in the world.  And I am certainly not the least fit person waddling around.  I’ve been thinking I get about alright, carrying my clubs and managing still to do ok.  While talking with the spy (so named cause I’d bet that she was one; in a recent life), discussing my round on Sunday I realised that it’s the back 9 that usually causes me grief (with the exception of today, given that it was a shotgun start).  It’s not as though I’ve been completely oblivious to the whole golf and fitness thing, I guess I just didn’t really recognise the impact on my game until I thought about it in comparison to my performance.  Looking back at my polar results from when I was playing in NI, even though I wasn’t playing as well, I don’t think that I was hitting the hump until later in the match – usually about the 17th.  Comparing that to my training later in the day (yes, this is an update of this morning’s blog) I was so much fitter back then.  I also used to carry a full set of waterproofs with me, every single match, and much more food/water than I am at the moment.  Indicative of higher fitness levels.

Went to the driving range this arvo to teach Mr 5 Iron a lesson.  Didn’t really work.  Was shagged from my mid afternoon session, and still not really sure whether I wanted to be sick or not.  My body just felt fatigued, and I had to work really hard to keep my ‘technique’ tight.  My average heart rate was also higher, despite standing there whacking it, and not carrying any clubs anywhere.

1:29:45

630 c, 44%

AHR: 120

MHR: 144

And I’ve decided I need some stats on my site.  Not from all up, from now – this time round.  Aussie golf.

the long and the short

Wow.  What a big couple of weeks.  It must have been about that long since I’ve posted.  I don’t know why, and I don’t really have a reason.  I guess laziness, perhaps tiredness, maybe just not feeling it.  Not feeling like sharing.

Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been up and down a bit.  I think the training has caught up.  I feel tired, constantly tired.  Like my body just needs a rest, like I need some time to unwind.  I always feel as though I could just close my eyes and go to sleep.  I wish that that would make it all go away.  I can feel it more in my demeanour than my muscles.  A frustration settles over everything and I’m less able to deal with shit.  Like if the smallest thing goes wrong, or doesn’t go the way I plan, intend or want it’s all over and I get the shits.  Not that I react, verbally or physically, but in my head it’s like everything’s about to come crashing down.  I take the hump and go quiet, or resentful.  I guess that really reflects exactly how I feel about some stuff where I’m living at the moment.  The patient like mentality is really getting me down.  At times I feel like a maid.

I’m not sure if it’s the isolation that I feel at times.  That I’m feeling a bit at the moment.  At times I long for a NI winter’s day with nothing on – a day when you can sit inside all day and eat, or sit by the fire and chill out with your friends.  I guess that is the isolation that I’m feeling coming out – right there, in that statement.  While I’m in with those I know, I’m not ‘in’, which at times makes me feel out.  I’m not right in the middle of the group, not that I need to be, but I feel at times as though I do not belong.  At times I feel unwelcome, and unwanted.  I guess it’s good that there are some holidays coming up – that I’ve some time to myself.  That’s what I’m looking forward to most about tomorrow night – coming home to an empty house.

I’ve really backed off the training this week – this twice a day thing has really taken it out of me.  So I do plan to do an easier week this week, although tomorrow will be (maybe) a run, then swim, then gym in the evening – I’m just not sure.  It honestly feels as though I need the rest at the moment.  I guess it probably is bordering on burnout – I thoroughly spanked myself over the last few weeks, burning 4500, 5000 and 3800 cal per week for the last 3.  I guess that the way to look at it was that this is my week off – but I fail to do that.

I know that my diet hasn’t been spot on, that I’ve wavered too much.  I do find it difficult being in a household where I don’t have control over what food gets cooked.  The way I’ve dealt with that in the past (the first few weeks that I was into it) was to really ‘concentrate’ during the day in lieu of being more lax at night, although I don’t know what’s happened – I’ve slipped.  I think it’s getting out of the working routine that’s put the breaks on my diet and food consumption.  I’m planning to be spot on with it while I’ve the house to myself – I guess I’ve just got to find a way to implement that to the family situation.  I do find it hard when, when asked what I want for dinner, I give the option of ‘chicken & vegies’ or ’steak & vegies’ and then get told that I’m not very imaginative.  I don’t know why that annoys me so much.  I know that it’s boring; but I also know that it’s good for me.

I’ve also been having doubts about the results that I’m seeing.  I can, or could, see changes in my face – it’s getting leaner, but the rest of my body is taking it’s sweet time in catching up.  I know that this happens to me -  that I lose it from my face, shoulders, legs and arms first.  It’s ALWAYS something that gets me.  And I believe that it’s something that really stops me from achieving my goals.  What if I just held out – if I hold out another 5 weeks, worrying only about the processes, not the results – I wonder how much difference actually would be made.  I’m also trying not to weigh – but I had to the other night for my application form – nothing.  Nil.  Nada.  Zilch.  Zero.  That’s right – flogging my guts out for 3 weeks and there was no actual change in the scale.  Yes, I may have put on muscle, and my muscles may be holding onto water – but I’ve fucking lost nothing.  I can not believe that, and it is so disheartening.  I just don’t know what to do about this.  I know stopping is not the answer; but I’m not overly sure what I’d be saying if I was my client.

Actually, I do know.  Take a body fat test I’d be saying.  I guess I should do that.  One day when I’m home alone.  Will swim tomorrow – if I can find my adidas togs, but I feel as though they’ve gone missing.  In the car maybe.  For now I need to sleep to get this emotional crap out of my system.

just.

Today was Innes Park again.  I played 18, carrying my bag again.  Didn’t play too bad either.  I think that I’d listened to my ‘be more aggressive with chipping/pitching’ note to self – more balls were closer, and my pitching at times allowed for one putt – nice!  I don’t think that I putted that much better today – I think it’s something that I still need to work on.  I hit more greens today, better.  on the 15th I drove to about 10m short of the pin, chipped on with a gap wedge that hit the top of the bank then rolled (as intended) then putted from about 4 foot.  Probably the best hole that I’ve played in a long time.  I’ve also developed a bit of a hook with my drive.  But that may only apply when it’s windy.  If we do Bundy again this week it’ll be interesting to see how things work out.

2:19

1010 cal, 40%

AHR: 121

MHR: 147

Really had fun at golf today, need to keep working on it; and I look forward to more practice.  Off for a ride.

without

So today at the pool was fecking awful.  That’s the only way it can be described.  Did my 1k (in 27:30), 100m with the kick board and then got the hell out of there.  I was just fatigued.  Although I’m not sure it actually was fatigue, or soreness from the weights session that I did – more just that the thrashing about was much harder.  Had a tendonitis click going on in my left shoulder which was while not actually hurting, uncomfortable and distracting.  It was more that I was noticing it there, not that it was sore.  Pain in the arse more than anything.  It wasn’t at all that I was without motivation today – it was a physical thing.  In a way I see this swim session as a good thing.  After the first 200 I seriously would have considered packing up and going home – if it weren’t for determination to do the 1k – at a minimum.  I made sure I was in there for at least 30 minutes.  A bit of a win for me, over the pool, today.  Sometimes it’s just hard.

30:00

340cal,  25%

AHR: 151

MHR: 177

Work was shit!  At some times I really, really, hate my life.  It’s like I’m just showing up and spending time there.  The fucking stock is all over the fucking place.  I had to count the bloody singlets about 15 times today as things weren’t included in the snapshot when they should have been and were when they shouldn’t have been.  I finally said that I wasn’t doing it anymore and headed off to harass customers.  I was helping a guy with shoes at the end of the day – he had a sore ankle for which he wanted plenty of cushioning.  After talking a little bit, it seems that he had Plantar Fasciitis, or so I thought.  He was surprised that I knew what was going on.  I think I also surprised myself.  Surprised at the amount of knowledge that I have, that I can talk to people about and the help that could have come from me sorting out what his issue was.  I also briefly considered whether infact I should go into physiotherapy, and briefly considered looking up to see the requirements for an Ex. Phys. to do Phty at uni.  But then I want to be a cop.  That’s all I want.

After work I realised I’d forgotten the ipod (essential for gym cardio, or any cardio really) so headed home.  Did some stuff on the treadmill to make up for the lack of swimming/gym cardio today.  I did run intervals and was happy with how they went.  I didn’t think that I’d got to the point where they weren’t an absolute bitch to get done – I guess I was wrong.  Although I worked hard, I wasn’t anywhere near maximum, and felt stronger than I have previously.

20 mins run intervals, 3 minutes stretching.
30:30 -  all at 4%

3 mins 10

5 mins 10.5
5 mins 11
5 mins 11.5
2 mins 11

20:00

230 cal, 17%

AHR: 164

MHR: 186

Not 100% accurate as HRM wasn’t working the whole time I don’t think…  It was fucking pissing me off, perhaps escalated by tiredness, but I felt some of the gear rage coming back.  Bastard.  Anyway, it was s pretty good session, even if the HRM fucked up.  I also iced afterwards, which I need to start doing more often (and am going to start doing, nightly).

I’m not nearly as sore as I expected to be from the weights session that I did the other day.  Perhaps the huge walk with golf helped that, perhaps also wearing skins while I was running tonight helped.  I think that that might be a good way to take some of the DOMs away from my future legs sessions – stretching, rest and then some form of activity (preferably walking/golf) later in the day.  Seems to have worked this time round.

More one glove tan tomorrow, along with a bit of training.  Short game work.

once bitten

Weights

5 mins cycle
5 x 5 Sq – 20,22.5,25,30,30,30
5 x 8 C & J @ 25
5 x 5 45 LP @ 90
5 x 5 SLDL @ 25
10 mins cycle

49:05

457c, 33%

AHR: 137

MHR: 180

When I returned from my weights, and got on the bike, there was a kerfuffle at the treadmills behind the bikes.  A little sticky revealed that there was a woman there, who had previously been ‘working out’ (cardio junkie) and a ‘trainer’ (6week ‘this is your leg’ course) attending to some guy who was looking all passed out on the treadmills.  I’d seen him earlier in the day, while I was warming up, and he was struggling.  It wasn’t just that he had the complete wrong idea about the stepper (no, it is not correct to stand, will all your body weight pushing the bloody step down) but he just looked fatigued; like he was going to fall over.  So the straw that broke his back must have been the treadmill.  Perhaps, and this is just what he looked like (and a complete stereotype, deduced from the thousands of people I’ve met in my gym career) that he might be the type of guy that is desperate to lose weight, so he comes to the gym without having eaten all day.  Fasting guys, we should call them.  Anyway, I’m assuming that he got an attack of the hypoglycemia bug and took badly to it.  He musn’t have fainted though as sure as shit if he fell over the two girls with him wouldn’t have been able to get him back up again.

Post gym I stretched for a good 10 minutes, which is pretty much unheard of for me.  I think I’m going to be less sore cause of it, and hence should, finally, learn that lesson.  Stretching is good.  After coming home and having a shake and a little food I played 18 holes at Innes Park.  Not too bad.  Actually better than I thought I would.  Still need work on lots of my game, and think I can be more aggressive with the chipping, though I’ve more confidence with my 60 now that I have previously.

2:25

1319 c, 35%

AHR: 135

MHR: 160

 

Rilex has found out that he can open things, like containers, by biting on them (like on the side, you get the picture).  Well…my finger didn’t ‘open’ so he just kept biting harder and harder. little fecker.   All the while he was hanging onto my other finger (on the other hand) so I couldn’t get him off.  I actually had to shake my hand, with quite a bit of force mind you, to get him to let go.  Then chucked him out of the pool real quick.

missed the eagle

Putting practice required.

Golf today at the rum.  Was not entirely bad.  Not bad at all.  I went round in 97 – 6 more than someone off about 9, and all six shots really came from penalties.  One in the water, one out of bounds and one as a penalty shot when I had to crawl under the bushes to retrieve my ball.  Better than a lost ball, but it would have been nice if had even trickled from the bush out into the other fairway.

Short game was much much better.  Not so much the putting, although I think it was significantly better than the last game I played, but I chipped with a lot more confidence, and think I’ve started to have a bit more faith in hitting my cute little 60 degree wedge.  I was using a pro V for a while there, and it was awesome – it really was like the ball stopped a lot quicker.

Driving was ok, but I’ve started to pull them towards the end – perhaps just a little of playing around with my swing…  On the 18th I’d hit a fair drive, up the middle, but I didn’t really feel as though it went all that well.  We got up there and I took my 3 wood and hit it – long and straight baby!  We got to the green and my ball’s sat, pin high, about 5 foot from the hole, in two, on a par 5.  I think probably the best (and maybe only) eagle chance I’ll ever have.  Missed the putt – on the amateur side, although it wasn’t an easy putt.

Was much happier with golfing today, however I still think there’s plenty of room for improvement.  At least I’m back to playing off 25.  Now I’ve just got to stay there.

My FT set me a pretty rediculous goal for this week – 6:40 of training, burning 4050 cal.  I never thought I could do it while working, but I’ve surprised myself this week.  Although I’m not going to make the target this week (even though I was well on track the whole week and extremely motivated to get there) I think it’s a positive thing.  I was fatigued at the end of the week, but I don’t think that I was to the point that I couldn’t have done one more training session if it had been necessary.  I chose to do nothing on Saturday, and to train relatively easily on Friday in the manner of keeping healthy.  I know that I did some exercise today, with the golf, and although I didn’t make the goal set by my heart rate monitor I’m sure that I’ve achieved more than enough this week.

Even if it’s just having a tune up when I need one!

unravelling the good

What a great weekend I had.  Friday night there were drinks and a delicious roast and polenta dinner here, Saturday I spent all day at work, before heading in for more beers with the rellies.  Sunday we played golf at the town course then had some more drinks.  Obviously, from that ultra quick run down, all the good work from last week was nearly undone with the diet and booze blow out of the weekend.  I’ve really got to tighten up on the control thing here.  One night in at the rellies, as one night a week on the booze is well enough for me while I’m working hard at what I’m doing.

Otherwise, I’m pretty happy with how the training is going.  Have really only been into it a week or so, coming up on two weeks, but it’s starting to feel like routine.  Starting to see some results – my pants were definately looser than a couple of weekends ago when I was out with Dad.  That is pleasing, particularly cause it’s only two weeks.  I think the goal for this week will be to train 2 per day on at least 3 days, and golf twice.  Money’s always an issue with that though.

Golf was ok.  Nothing to write home about.  Hitting the driver well.  Still some inconsistencies to iron out, but it’s the short game that really needs the bulk of the work.  It was atrocious at best.  Putting was not great, missed quite a lot of relatively straight puts – maybe quitting on the follow through as Dad suggested.  Am planning to, and want to get some more work done – perhaps the short course at Innes Park is what I need to do a fair bit of for a while, just until I get the short game under control.  Have tried suggesting that MG put a putting surface in in the yard, but to no avail.  Bastards.  Although understandable – maintenance would be horrendous.

On the upside, we’ve discovered, through extensive research and experimentation, that low carb beer doesn’t give you a hangover!  There’s less alcohol and lower total volume of beer in the bottles, but at the end of the day, when you’ve had 10 stubbies, you feel like you’ve had 10 stubbies.  It’s full on strength but low on carbs, great for the diet and no hangover to boot!